run #101

How much: 16
How long: 3:46:43 (14:10 pace)
Where: lakefront, Montrose to Soldier Field and back
When: yesterday @ 6am/69 degrees
August miles: 43
Total 2014 miles: 391.4

This was a rough, rough run. Conditions were great when I set out, despite not quite getting enough sleep (noisy neighbors upstairs.) but whatever! I've run on much less sleep. This time I ate beforehand--a banana. Time to go.

After about the first mile I started to feel dizzy. For the life of me I can't figure out why. So I walked. I'm just gonna walk until I feel ok to run again. This went on til about 3.5 to 4 miles, where I'd run 2/10 of a mile or so, then walk about the same. Why am I dizzy??

I have not yet mastered the turning around of my fragile ego/attitude/will during a run. I felt defeated early on, but yet took a little pride to note that after all that, at 10 miles, I was still running at about a 13:00 pace (a minute over my long run goal pace for the time being).

At 12 miles I felt completely exhausted though physically, but even more so, mentally. Noticed a text from BB...texted him where I was in my run so he wouldn't worry. And then I proceeded over the North Av pedestrian bridge. And fell apart.

A little over 13 miles the negative thinking took over. 3 miles left felt insurmountable. I won't repeat all the things I was saying to myself, but I felt the tears mixing with the sweat in my eyes. A full on cry was coming, so I went over to a tree facing the canal area where the rowers...uh, row...and then cried. Then said "you know what, the only way back is by putting one foot in front of the other." Even if I walked the entire remaining 3 miles, I would finish and I would not quit. That is one thing that was a non-negotiable...i would not give up.

So, much like my long run the week before, I shuffled along between a slow run and walking. And suddenly somehow it's Mile 15. Almost there...when I hear someone calling my name. It was my co-worker and her dogs heading south. What a sight for sore eyes, she totally took my mind off of things. We talked a minute or two and went on our way separate ways.

And that was that.

I was very angry and sad after the run, but later was reminded by BB that's it's not always gonna be easy. Training is essentially that, TRAINING. Some runs will not be perfect or ideal. The point is to keep going.

This coming week is a step back week for my long run. Looking forward to putting in a solid, ego-boosting 10-miler next weekend.

Still at it, one foot in front of the other.


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