My Oprah* Moment

*I think I can give credit for Oprah coming up with the “a-HA moment,” the moment when everything becomes clear and makes sense. Kinda like when they do as you when you dream about it, or have had a few drinks, or some other time you become all Zen and “one with the world” like…only THIS time, it makes sense the next day. And the day after. So anyway, I’ve had an Oprah moment.

Going into my birthday weekend, I had a dinner party with hubby and other successful insurance agents at the company. We sailed off on a nice boat for a dinner cruise along a stormy Lake Michigan and secretly in my head I was waving to the suckers (read: losers) who were not privy to such lavish treatment. Nobody was there at the dock, but there were only a handful of people who were asked to attend this dinner. So I’m sitting there and looking at the other women in their cocktail dresses, sundresses and crap, and found myself relieved that there was one other chick there in pants and a frumpy shirt, too.

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So it’s my birthday. While I went out for my 9 mile birthday run, I started thinking about all sorts of things, and got all “New Year’s-ish and decided that starting today…ok tomorrow (we’re having a BBQ and cake and stuff!)…I was going to do whatever I can to NOT look the same by my next birthday. Not some ridiculous deadline. 52 weeks is a long time, long enough to make a significant dent in things. Here are the thoughts I came up with, and while they may not be original (patent pending), they were thoughts new to my brainwaves:

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It’s hard…but it’s all hard
Wah Wah Wah, counting calories is hard. Working out is hard. Saying no to heaping piles of macaroni and cheese, syrupy-drippy sweet potatoes, dressing, and other things that seem to make their way to the serving table for numerous family occasions, is hard! Counting calories while marathon training is double-hard. (No, really it’s a cruel joke.)

But guess what? Being overweight is hard too. Not knowing what to wear because you’re trying to cover up the results of your food indiscretions is hard. Wondering if people are looking at you doing all that running and thinking “why can’t she get that weight off?” is taxing. Wondering whether or not you could shave off a half minute or so by knocking a few pounds off isn't easy. Wearing long pants and shirt sleeves that cover up your arms in 85 degree weather is hard.

Choices
So then I said to myself, “Self, you need to make a choice.” Your current choices-and yes, the ARE choices-are not working out for you. Your choice to not count calories and just wing it? How’d that work out for ya? Your choice to eat “this” because you ran today and it’s ok? How’d that work out? So I thought back to my uncomfortable-ness on Friday night and realized that all of this was my choice. The choices I made, led me to that. And all by my own doing. Well, that and the fact that I don’t have skinny girl genes…but I digress, that’s kind of a copout.

(HERE IT IS, THE OPRAH MOMENT, while all of this might be qualified as such) So when I started looking at it not so much as a have or have not situation, but rather a decision between two choices…the choices are now very clear!

Plus not to mention…
You feel so much better when running on good nutrition than when you’re just barely getting by, nutritionally. (If you're reading this and my 7/30 workout is still over there on the right, look at my performance this morning compared to the last three 40-minute runs! -click on them for details- Woo hoo!)

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In summary…I’m trying NOT to put numbers on my goals, but we all do. I’m aiming for somewhere around 50 pounds or so in the next year…maybe 40..maybe 60. I hope my Oprah moment still makes sense the next time a box of girl scout cookies somehow lands on my desk. I thought about saying 'I won’t cut my hair until my next birthday,' but that sounds too much like a resolution, too. So anyway, I feel good about it, for now.

What shall we call this thing...this revelation?
Project 40. So I’m turning 40 in two years (minus a few days now.) I want to be in the best shape of my adult life by then. So from 38 to 39, lose, lose lose and keep running. I will assess my progress and make different goals from 39 to 40. Not sure what they will be, fitness…new look…whatever. But Project 40 sounds kinda cool and “grasping the bull by the horns,” while Project 39 is kinda like “I don’t ever want to turn 40, I’ll be 39 forever.”

Oh, and maybe when I'm 40 I will go all bad@$$ and wear this shirt...don't worry Mom, I won't wear it around you or anyone else who might be offended. or my kids. But how cool would it be to go for a run in this? or garden in this? Thanks Stacy, for the cool shirt idea. ;)