13. My older daughter is sitting across from me right now. Her hands look like mine, just smaller. I love that. I grew up not looking like anyone bc I'm adopted. Now I finally belong to someone, in that respect.
12. I had a "health club casualty of war" today...is all i can say to describe it. (Shudder)
11. So what had happened wasssss. I ran on the treadmill and then went to change to swim. You know how you're supposed to at least rinse yourself before hopping in the pool? Y'know, one last chance to rid yourself of whatever loose filth might be on you that you don't need to take to the pool? Well of course I did that bc I'd sweated a lot from 2 miles. Turned the shower knob off. Face itched. Scratched it. BIG. GIGANTIC. PUBIC. HAIR. From hand to face. I died a little inside. Stupid gym.
10. I've felt a little sick to my stomach all day.
9. When I stop watching a tv show that I've watched for years, it's like one of those bad college break ups. Like, you kinda knew awhile ago but you had a routine. Habits. You sorta didn't wanna give up on it bc deep down there's still some sort of admiration there. Some misguided allegiance to...nothing. And then i when I watch it I'm all like "UGH!!! That was some garbage! Why do I continue to waste my time?!?!" Isn't that the dumbest thing ever?
8. I have a slightly addictive personality. I'd be a helluva drug addict, which is one reason why I've never ever ever tried anything too major. Among other reasons, of course.
7. I'm no Pollyanna PureBread, though. Rumor has it I used to steal "for sport" in my college days. (Think back to the most shameful thing you did in college.) ok now stop judging me. ;)
6. And when my youngest asked me if I ever stole anything I did not tell her the truth.
5. I've been up since 3am. I'm tired. Lately my sleep habits have been off. But this has been me my entire life. My mom said that even as a baby I never needed as much sleep as my brothers. I'd stay up later and still wake up at the crack of dawn. Lately I've been sleeping in "the middle hours" of the evening from 8-10ish, then up til like 1, then back asleep for a bit.
4. Back to the gym. Using a locker room is HUGE for me. It's been my deterrent for many years. This is the first time in my life that I've used the facilities.
3. Once my flip flops touch the floor of the locker room, they will never ever touch the floor of my place again. Never. I handle them like they're quarantined, with imaginary forceps, plastic bags, etc. shudder.
2. In my adult life I've gotten better. Much MUCH better, actually. But i used to only use a bath towel once, then wash it. Slight OCD thing happening. I used to count while washing my hands. I still do the motion, stopped the silent counting 1-2-3-4; 1-2-3-4. I still sometimes catch myself counting stairs as I go down them.
1. I'm really struggling with that shower incident today at the gym. It's taking a full-court press effort to not freak out. I'm gonna think about that for a long time.
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