untitled

I want to eat. Not because I'm hungry, but because I'm sad and scared and tired of being a fuck up most of the time.

But eating won't help anything except maybe the extreme immediate--making me forget things for a few seconds.

I want a pop because I like how it feels when it hits the back of my throat. I'm not "addicted" to it like I was with diet Pepsi, but I did decide to cut it out pretty much all together. I don't have any around anymore, so i won't have any.

So here I am. I'm tired, but like a stubborn child who doesn't see what's best for them, I refuse to go to sleep. I'm watching tv, clearing out the DVR. Not particularly looking forward to tomorrow but not wanting to be here in the now, either.

I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning.


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