Just venting

Somedays the whole weight loss thing is boring as hell. And a pain. Must I log every item of food into my app? Why can’t I just be normal? Do you know how stupid that can make you feel, that you simply can’t eat right unless you pay attention to every single thing you put in your mouth, and every step you take? And your ration of calories in versus calories out? Are you that much of an imbecile that you can’t regulate this? How is it that you lose weight and you’re looking all great, and then you lose your mind and eat your way right back to where you were? Really? When will the words “let’s go out to eat” NOT send me into a tailspin? And when will I be able to go out to eat after a long day or week and not cave in to French fries? (Sometimes I get it right, sometimes I just say “to hell with it.”) It’s stressful either way.

I used to be able to drop weight super quick. I thought that was cool, but really it shows how much of a problem this has always been. The fad diets. The diet “contests” with friends. 20+ years of this back and forth behavior. So does that mean it will always be a problem? Might I never beat it? Or will suddenly someday it become an innate behavior to not overeat and to want to move and burn more calories than I eat? I don’t know. I guess it’s possible, right? I’ve shown that I have the propensity to be very active. It’s possible. It IS.

Sigh.

Just venting. I’m fine. I just need to get a handle on this. And equal to my goal of looking great (not just good) and feeling great is that this is not just a means to an end. That my choices today are my choices in the future. This is not rocket science…duh…people have been saying fad diets don’t work/lifestyle changes over the long haul are best…aDUH.

I have another post brewing about what I’ve been doing to satisfy my sweet tooth, as I know that it’s better for me if I have sweet things instead of trying to get rid of them all together. That’s a recipe for a weeknight on the couch when the girls go to bed, “sneaking” into the kitchen and eating up their lunchbox goodies. The next day: “Mama, I thought we bought XYZ for our lunches?”