Thursday Thirteen

13 things I'm afraid of:

13. Dying alone. Not physically, necessarily, but in the absence of love or happiness.

12. Not being able to breathe. (asthma---terrible feeling.)

11. Fire. I used to have repeated nightmares about fire. Still obsess about things like space heaters, irons, and that tube that comes out of the clothes dryer.

10. People out on the lakefront early in the morning that aren't wearing workout clothes and are walking aimlessly about.

9. People who don't care about their future.

8. Gas stations and convenient stores late at night, and related, stores or other public places with no windows.

7. Losing my girls to some horrible accident or illness. Stories on the news make me think about those things and it always brings tears to my eyes.

6. Admitting my insecurities, especially when it comes to my self image.

5. Hate crimes and the people who commit them.

4. What my schizophrenic brother could be capable of doing under certain circumstances.

3. Ghost, poltergeists, evil spirits. Laugh if you want but that scares the shit outta me...refuse to watch movies on those topics--scares me terribly. In college I played with a ouija board once and that mess was so true i was about to run from the room screaming. Had this "psychic reader" tell me some stuff that made me feel the same way. No thanks!!

2. That I have accepted so much bullshit from people before...does this mean that I would allow it again? What does it say about my self respect?

1. Finding out who my birth mother is/where she is/details around that.