Sunday, January 4, 2015

The struggle

Dear Diary,

I tend to "eat my feelings" and right now I'm exhausted but can't sleep, and feeling a little bit blue. I just want to eat because it dulls everything at the moment. There is instant gratification in absence of the bigger resolution and satisfaction that is out of reach. 

I hate this. This is hard. Paying attention to what I'm eating means precisely that: FOCUSING ON FOOD, the very devil I'm fighting. How does one change their unhealthy relationship with food? 

I plan to figure this out and struggle through it. Bear with me.

An emotional late-night eater who's up way past her bedtime 



7:26 am the following morning

Dear Diary,

I just woke up and realized I survived my mini battle! I didn't eat anything. I didn't go to the fridge and say "let me eat one string cheese" and then eat 3 or 4. I didn't eat any cookies. I just laid here and went to sleep. This has a momentous feeling of THIS kind: "It's one small step (crackle) for man, one (crackle) giant step for mankind. (Crackle.)" Man being me, mankind being my willpower. (Those crackles are meant to simulate the audio recording from space. It's the details, friends!)

Top o' the morning,


Tracy said...

Sounds so familar...

I've decided to give it a name.

I just started reading this book last night.

check it out.

The Sugar Addict's Total Recovery Program by Kathleen DesMaisons via @amazon

Lou @ Mommy Sanest said...

I know this feeling. Did writing help?

P.S. I like the new blog design.