Wednesday, September 25, 2013

I am.....

Lazy? I have two projects hanging over my head at work that I'm struggling to finish. I left work early when I could have stuck out another two hours, because I said I'd work on them tonight, knowing it'll take more than two f it, leaving early is ok, right? I came home and slept because I don't have the girls tonight. And slept and slept. and talked on the phone. I turned my computer on the work but here I am.

Burned Out? With my new position at work (ok, it's been about a year now), and one that I'm still not 100% sure about, and STILL handling projects related to my old position, it makes everything seem so taxing. I feel uneasy. I take days off, but it's for my girls, rarely for ME. I always feel BUSY.

Stressed Out? Funny how on TV, legal issues get worked out, figured out, put a ribbon on it and voila, all is well in one hour. Of course we all know that ain't real...but sheesh! But I wouldn't change ANY of the decisions made for me and the girls. Maybe there's a price for peace of mind, but I haven't found one that I'm willing to sell for. I'd like to get this stuff wrapped up though. I probably worry unnecessarily about worst case scenarios and things that won't happen, but until it's done, it's undone. I don't like undone.

Tired? I'm not sure if I'm legitimately tired, or if feeling stressed/burned out MAKES me want to sleep. I'm typically a morning person, but I've found myself up late at night, or waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake for a few hours, then needing alarms in the morning, even hitting the snooze--a rare thing for me. I'm going out of town this weekend for work but will have free time at night and in the morning. And honestly? Vegging out in a fluffy hotel bed sounds super great to me right now.

I don't have an ending for this. And I'm not complaining, just writing what's going on in my head and allowing myself to be in this "whatever" mood--and quite possible I'm procrastinating, too. This too shall pass.

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